Liberal Houseplant

  There are 5 rules that must be followed when working from home.  1.       Never take calls from the bathroom.   2.       Make sure the camera on your computer is covered—I prefer some torn paper and tape, but they make gizmos for the purpose. 3.       Never take conference calls in a room that includes kids, partners, pets, pan dimensional aliens, houseplants or lawnmowers. 4.       Do always sound positive and perky, especially if you are taking the call from your bed with your slippers where you are sometimes napping. 5.       And finally, never, ever…leave your  ******** dog  alone anywhere near your company computer or  your school computer or any  ******** computer  in your house.   *** His voice was loud and piercing—you could hear it at least five houses down. ...

The day begins early - at 5:57 am. Start time is 6:00 am. Working at home allows for this. It is something those who used to go to an office now understand. For 15 years, breakfast has not been leisurely. It can't be when All the Meetings are scheduled between 6:30 and 1:00 pm. These are the work hours for those in other time zones. They don't care about your sleep. They are unaware of your need for coffee. They send Instant Messages the minute you log on. Their day began hours ago. Children come into your office. They don't know what time it is. They are not at school. They don't care you are on the phone. You wave to them. The day does not care if it's an unfriendly wave. Afternoon comes sometime after hunger sets in again. The meetings end. There are not meetings after 1:00. Those in other time zones used to go home around this time and it's rude to schedule meeting at the end of the day. Call it a habit. Before they leave, they like se...

Thoughts. Thinking. Contemplating. If you ignore corona, what is life like? Mild breeze, warmth, sweating, sleepless overheating nights.  .     .        . Looking for the fan you know is in your basement, Looking for the fan you are pretty sure is in your basement, Looking for the fan you think might actually be shoved in a closet somewhere. Falling asleep after lying awake wondering where the fan you looked for all day is. Waking up just to find yourself wanting the fan again, Finding a fan in between two boxes and not even caring that it's the terrible fan that barely works. This is the pain and suffering at the start of every summer.

I am dead.   Finally the sweet release of death.  In plant heaven, everyone is in a pot with their other dead plant friends, with the correct soil, amount of sunlight, humidity, ph level in the soil, and preferred pot.  Plant heaven is just with plants, there is also no plant god, and there are no other beings.  All the plants are happy and there is also no plant hell because why would a plant go to hell? 

I am a plant.  The people in my house never water me...I am slowly shriveling up and dying, all of the moisture is being sucked out of my leaves by this scorching sun. My leaves are turning brown and crinkly.  I don't think I can keep fighting much longer...my only hope is to wait until the one man who waters me normally comes back from his trip...

I have never been able to hear, but I have, well, good eyesight. I may have amazing sight, but it is difficult to see in this potato sack. Once upon a time I was safe, along with my potato brethren, but now the lumbering blind fools are removing us one by one, to eat in their barbaric ways. I heard from the onion sack that they take us and bake us in ovens, then wrench us open, consuming our innards, but I do not believe the giants, as dumb and barbaric as they are, would do such a thing, but still I fear.

I have been paved since 1894 on the West Coast, but around in one form or another long before that.  I was dirt and ruts would form where wagon wheels ran over me, but the Romans were pretty advanced and had a 4 layer road system they built between camps.  I'm used to quite a bit of traffic each day as cars and trucks and construction vehicles make their way over me to get from one place to another.  In my particular stretch, it is from the highway to downtown. Recently, things have gotten quiet and it's made me wonder what is going on and wonder if I should be concerned.  There are still people so it's not a total zombie apocalypse, but I must have offended the cars somehow.  It's not that they are gone, it's that they appear to no longer enjoy driving on me. I see quite a few of them, that hasn't changed.  They are parked along my sides and in driveways.  Usually we mind our own business, but recently, I've tried to figure out if it is something ...

This may be many things but as a start is a place for people to record thoughts of things, or pets, or plants in this strange time where most of the world was asked to stay home, cars stayed in driveways, kids didn't take the bus to school, workers dialed in to work, tvs streamed video more hours a day than not, people no longer had personal space at home, stress levels at times were elevated, and humor was shared.